Today my grandma would have been 86 years old. I am having a rough morning missing her. I am trying SO HARD not to cry - but I keep doing it. The tears seem to just fall out of no where.

I will go visit her grave later and bring her flowers and maybe a balloon.

I just REALLY REALLY miss her today.

I feel really silly for crying and have been keeping the lump in throat (instead of the tears falling) in front of Erik. I am not sure why. I just don't think he truly understands. He is off to a meeting right now so I am able to let the tears fall. He's just never lost someone he was close to. He's NEVER had a grandparent he was close to. In fact...he really didn't like his grandma AT ALL.

I just feel silly crying in front of people - I always have.